Big Emotions
We’ve all been there—your child’s eyes fill with frustration, their voice rises in volume, or they go silent and withdraw, and suddenly it feels like you’re caught in the middle of an emotional storm. It’s tough. Big emotions, whether they show up as tantrums, meltdowns, or quiet distress, can be overwhelming for both kids and parents. You want to help, but in the heat of the moment, it can be hard to know what to do—or even how to stay calm yourself.
The truth is, children aren’t born knowing how to manage their feelings. They look to us for guidance, even when they’re kicking, screaming, or shutting down. The good news? You don’t have to be a perfect parent to support your child through these moments. You just need a few simple strategies—and a lot of compassion for both of you.
1. Stay Calm to Set the Tone
Children are like emotional sponges. When you react with calmness, you help them feel safer and more grounded. Easier said than done, right? The key is to take a moment for yourself before responding. Breathe deeply, count to five, or even step away for a few seconds if you need to.
Remember: You don’t need to solve everything right away. Your calm presence alone can be enough to begin de-escalating the situation.
2. Validate Their Feelings
When emotions run high, kids want to feel understood. Phrases like:
“I can see you’re really upset right now.”
“It’s okay to feel angry.”
“I know it’s hard when things don’t go the way we want.”
These statements don’t fix the problem, but they do show your child that you acknowledge and respect their feelings. Validating emotions helps kids feel seen, which is often the first step in calming down.
3. Offer a Safe Way to Express Themselves
Big emotions need an outlet. Depending on your child’s age and personality, you can offer different ways to express those feelings:
Younger children may benefit from physical outlets like squeezing a stress ball, stomping their feet, or tearing paper.
Older children might prefer drawing how they feel, writing in a journal, or talking it out once they’ve cooled down.
Providing safe, healthy ways to express emotions teaches children that it’s okay to feel deeply—they just need to channel it in a way that doesn’t harm themselves or others.
4. Problem-Solve Together (When They’re Ready)
Once the storm has passed and your child is calmer, it’s a great time to talk about what happened and brainstorm solutions together. Statements like:
“You were really upset this morning.”
“Lets make a plan for what to do next time when those feelings come up.”
Involving your child in the process not only empowers them but also helps build emotional resilience.
5. Be Okay with Imperfection
Parenting isn’t about getting it right every time—it’s about showing up. There will be times when you lose your cool, say the wrong thing, or feel unsure about how to help. That’s okay. What matters most is that you repair after those moments. A simple apology, like “I’m sorry I got frustrated earlier. I love you, and we’ll figure this out together,” goes a long way in modeling healthy emotional repair.
Final Thoughts
Helping your child navigate big emotions is one of the most challenging—and important—parts of parenting. You’re teaching them how to understand, express, and cope with their feelings in a world that can feel overwhelming at times. And along the way, you’re growing, too.
Remember: you don’t need to have all the answers. What your child needs most is you—a steady, loving presence who believes in their ability to weather life’s storms.
So next time emotions run high, take a deep breath, offer your calm, and trust that these moments, while hard, are building something powerful: connection, trust, and emotional strength for both of you.
What strategies do you use to help your child through big feelings? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear from you!
Parenting Can Feel Overwhelming… But You’re Not Alone.
Do you ever feel like:
You’ve lost control of your role as a parent?
You’re not as connected with your child as you want to be?
You’re yelling more than laughing?
You’re repeating the same things over and over with no results?
If so, we’re here to help. Parenting is a journey filled with challenges, and learning new skills can make a world of difference—for both you and your child.
Looking for more tools to manage these challenging moments? Sign up for our Behavior Management Training and gain strategies to support your child while staying calm and confident as a parent.
Behavior Management Training for Parents. February 19th, 2025. 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM ET
Investment: $200 per family. Includes virtual 2 hr skills training (February 19th, 11:00 AM-1:00 PM ET)
and virtual 1 hr follow-up skills support group (February 26th, 12:00-1:00 PM ET).
